Saturday, February 13, 2010

The 30 Scariest Outfits You Will Ever See

The 30 Scariest Outfits You Will Ever See
Ed. Note: Yesterday, devastating news broke that clothing designer Alexander McQueen had committed suicide at the age of 40. McQueen’s designs were masterpieces, works of art, pieces that transcended typical fashion magazines and runways and wove themselves into the greater cultural psyche. His loss is a tragedy for not just the world of [...]

Ed. Note: Yesterday, devastating news broke that clothing designer Alexander McQueen had committed suicide at the age of 40. McQueen’s designs were masterpieces, works of art, pieces that transcended typical fashion magazines and runways and wove themselves into the greater cultural psyche. His loss is a tragedy for not just the world of fashion, but for imagination.

Last March, we brought this post to you featuring 30 of McQueen’s looks taken from his 2009 Fall line at Paris Fashion week. We dubbed them “scary,” due in large part to the line’s morbidity — something often found in his work. We bring this post to you again today to just give you an idea as to some of McQueen’s genius and madness. As you’ll see, the critics weren’t biting, but taking a closer look at the clothes, we can assure you you’ve never seen anything else like them.

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Alexander McQueen revealed his latest crazy/genius Fall line at Paris Fashion Week on Tuesday, and critics went coo-coo for cocaine puffs, calling McQueen — snootily — enfant terrible. We thought “How bad could these outfits possibly be?” and then immediately sh*t our pants with fear. The outfits weren’t so much to be the problem… moreso the lippy glassy-eyed ghost brides McQueen hired to model his creations. Also? Some of the outfits. So without further ado:

Here are The 30 Scariest Outfits You Will Ever See.

30. The “Thin Albert”

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29. The “Leave Your Message At The Beep”

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28.The “Katrina, Our Chef, Is Really Cooking In Her Scarf, and She’s Whipping Up Excitement In Her Boots. Thank you Katrina. THANK YOU KATRINA.”

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27. The “Slimming”

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26. The “Why So Glum, Lampshade Head Lady?”

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25. The “Pole Position”

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24. The “I Mourn Lucy”

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23. The “Don’t Mind If I Don’t”

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22. The “Sunday Brunch in Hell”

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21. The “Leftover Mermaid”

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20. The “Amish Fantasy”

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19. The “I Might Wear This When It’s Raining in Hades”

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18. The “I’ve Got a Toof Ache”

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17. The “Bordello’s Lightbulb”

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16. The “Dead Swan Lake”

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15. The “Cell”

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14. The “I’m Still Big. It’s the S&M Clubs That Got Smaller”

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13. The “Let’s Kill The Indians”

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12. The “Tim Burton Already Did It”

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11. The “Annie Hall”

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10. The “Perfect Outfit For Meeting His Parents… Assuming His Parents Are Ravens.”

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9. The “I Don’t See What You Did There”

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8. The “Umbrella, Three Dollar, Three Dollar”

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7. The “This Old Thing?”

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6. The “Somewhere, 8 Horses Died For This”

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5. The “Girl Next Door (To The Dead Whore Club)”

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4. The “Next Slide”

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3. The “I Just Came Back From Vacation”

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2. The “It was one of those days when it’s a minute away from snowing and there’s this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that’s the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and… this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video’s a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember… and I need to remember… Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart’s going to cave in.”

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1. The “Do You Take Credit?”

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(With thanks to Intern Erin for her help!)

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